If you know me then you know me. But when someone says they know somebody, do you actually know them?
I won’t lie, at this point in time i am in a different place in my life than i was before. I regret the way i had portrayed myself, and regret some things that i did. But know the situations that were around me, and hopefully you will have a better understanding of where i was and why i was like that at that time.
I did things before and i can’t take that back. I will continue to live my life the way i want to, and be successful in the way that i want to be, which is for myself and not for others.
Just got back from one of the craziest dance trips to LA ever. With this dance Krump, i never knew what i can discover from it, the family that i build from it, and the passion that i have obtained. It is really nice to finally find a fit with a freestyle dance. Me and my crew ventured to LA, met with another crew DC, or Demolition Crew. After meeting up with Fudd and talking to him about the dance, he reminds me of what we wanted to get into. For the love of the dance. We attended their Fight Klub event and that shit was fun, we got to battle and show off our stuff, it was pretty dope. I am now making Krump beats on my iPhone, Fruity loops fo free! YEE! Fudd had really convinced us that beat making in Krump is a must, and that is what makes each crew different. We got a lot of good feedback from everybody there, DC is definately fam for sure. After all the horrible stuff that happened they also were tryna house us so we didnt have to pay for a motel. But we had to leave cuz i lost my wallet :(.
Yes i lost my wallet, and wow let me tell you, my attachment to money isnt as crazy as it used to be, and the thing is i recieved a call after cutting the trip short saying that somebody FOUND MY WALLET! A man at a church called me saying someone dropped it off. I feel so blessed, and i feel like it is because i have been making a lot of lifestyle changed about myself, and the decisions i have been making. Everything seems to be turning out ok, and i feel like if i keep the routine that i have been doing, i will be where i wanna be.
Its all about growing and each day counts. I felt like i haven’t changed a whole lot, its just how i manage my time now, and what i need to do to further myself. Making changes for the better, and even after graduating college, being apart of a now world famous competition dance team, and an up and coming freestyle crew, letting go of herbal remedies, getting into legal troubles, the list goes on. These past months have been a big learning experience and with that trip, and all the bad that supposedly showed, it wasnt really that bad after all. I am blessed to be surrounded by good people, and that is all that matters. F the money, that can come back whenever.
With AOV, im proud to say that i was apart of the build up process, but for me it was time to go. I felt like all the wrong things were happening to me at that time, and it was only right to go. It is what i felt was the best decision, and seeing where AOV is, and where i am at, it was for the better. Quitting something that you helped to build, and something that i loved to do for the longest time was the hardest thing to do, but it was the best decision, and damn im proud of AOV. Catch them on AGT!
Just wanted to type this out, random vent, random post, whatever. It is what it is. Thanks for reading.
The hardest thing to say is what I aint saying, And the best way to say it, it is to just say it… Wanna run away from the words, But I cant run away from the world Cause the hardest thing to say is usually worth saying.. Girl I love you.. Still..
I just listened to this track a couple of days ago, and tripped me out. Wrote this all the way back in ‘05-‘06. It’s funny cuz i remember writing this song, the way i felt about somebody at that time. It’s so pure and real, and it’s crazy that i actually wrote this and decided to rap it. Hella cray listening to this now, especially 6-7 years later in 2012. Oh how much i’ve grown. hahahha.
Just had a really chill New Years kick it with the fam. Wanted to go out really bad, but decided to chill out at home with good company.
Things i would like to do for 2012:
Stay healthy, stay in touch with my friends, do big things in the dance community with my squad AOV and as an individual dancer, get my RN license and get a RN job, and create more great memories.
I feel that this year is going to be a very interesting year, a lot of growing and change for sure. Looking forward to the challenges that i will face, and i’m forward to the struggles that we encounter, just to overcome them. Ready for ya!
(I did this on FB after every year, iono why but i was using FB notes…haha)
Damn this has been long awaited. I’ve been doing one each year since the beginning so mine as well not stop. End it with a bang.
Definitely didn’t expect myself to go the extra semester, but it happens. If there is ONE THING i learned from being at USF, and going through all of this is that: It is okay to make mistakes.
Know that this statement does not just apply to school but a whole bunch of other things, and i see this as a good thing because i always make mistakes. I never get it right the first time. I’m always fuckin’ up, i don’t know what is going on most of the time lol. True. I know it takes a while for me to understand certain things, such and such, but i’ll eventually get it in the end. Nobody’s perfect right?
Beginning of Senior Year, til now, December 2011. I really felt that this school year for me was the biggest challenge of them all.
I joined Academy of Villains, an up and coming Hip-Hop dance group based in San Mateo, which caught so much interest, and i really wanted to pursue something very challenging, and very different from what i was used to with Filipino Folk Dancing, i wanted to move on from it. So i decided to join AOV, with AOV, I have seen a lot of progression in my dance, and i am very glad to see that i am continuing to grow as a DANCER. After winning 1st Place at WOD Bay Area, it made my realize, we are making a stand in the scene, and that i would like to be a part of the movement with my fam in AOV. Look out for us at VIBE at the end of January! Thanks so much to CJ and Krystal for understanding my struggle with school, and all that you have taught me about dance. You guys truly are amazing people. The opportunities are so amazing, and i can’t wait for more opportunities to come. What i take from AOV is the hard work and determination to get to where you want to be.
Continuing with my Filipino-American club, Kasamahan, i served my last year as President of the organization. This really put me to the test, because i was only used to leading Barrio Fiesta, or Pilipino Culture Night. Being President, you have to oversee the group as a whole, and be able to help organize and facilitate things through a bigger perspective. I did ask for a lot of assistance from past Presidents, but i also wanted to figure my own thang as well, and going through this experience really taught me a lot about myself as a leader and an organizer. I would like to thank the E-board that year for an amazing year. You guys taught me that it is possible for an organization as big as Kasamahan to continue to grow and discover new things. We really got through it! LOL. And a big part of it was you all. Thanks for the good memories and the wonderful experiences. I am really happy with all my adings: John, Evelyn, Sunshine, Matt, Jann Shane, Edwin, Chris, and Andres. My officials. You guys will all do amazing things in life, don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t do something. Follow what you instincts say, and go for it, no hesitation. Keep your heads up, tackle every obstacle with everything you got. Truly blessed to have a good set of adings, and i know i don’t tell you guys this that often, but i love you guys. Without you guys, i probably would have no one to hang out with. LOL! I know i have other adopts, you know who you is! Shout out to YOU (Angelo, Ben, and Mike)! Big thanks to Caroline for pushing me through and keeping me ahead, and most of all Uncle James for helping me through a lot of tough times. What i take from here is the friendships/families, the team work, the organizing towards a successful year of events for our USF community.
VARCITYSF! My lord. Has this gotten SOOOO BIG! I remember sitting in that room at UC 4th, talking about the most RANDOM names. Then i was like…how about Varsity….with a C tho. You know like The city. Haha. Good ass times. Our first set at involvement fair/kasamahan retreat, then to Barrio Fiesta/Underrated. Now to teaching class at Koret…HELLA legit with videos..hahhahaa. Then to my friends winning 3rd place at USF’s Got Talent. BIG THINGS. I’m super proud to see a crew built from the bottom shoot to the top…REAL QUICK. You guys are all amazing dancers, i believe so. I’m really happy Bryan made this club, it was something i think we all needed for reals. Varcity has pushed me to become a better choreographer, and to also think about staging purposes and such. I am very thankful for the opportunities Varcity has given me, you have continued to keep me going as a dancer during my last school year. It’s funny cuz people would really come up to me and say…Oh you’re apart of Varcity right? Hahahha. Hella casual. And it’s crazy how we made that shit together. Thank you Bryan, Jasmine, Edwin, and Matt. That shit cray. For reals. What i take from here is the pure love of dance, and why we do it. I see so much heart in every individual in the crew.
With all that extra-curricular, we gotta think about what i go to USF for….LOL. Nursing. Can’t believe i finished those 225 hours of clinicals, ALL THE WAY IN STANFORD! Deyum i was pissed, but i don’t regret any second of it. I learned so much this last year about myself as a Nurse, and how i can grow and become an even better one. I made a good number of mistakes, not FATAL, but things that i can work on to make my patient care better, and i think i got a really good handle on it. Just need to stay focused. Even though i did GRADUATE, i still need to move forward with boards and finding a job. I feel like this is the state of limbo everyone is talking about…but i know we will all be past this phase, and into the real world we all hear about. Thanks to my classmates for helping throughout the way, without you guys i prolly woulda fucked upp…hahhaha. What i take from here is taking initiative, and to never be afraid to take risks. Be confident, and don’t undermine yourself.
I know i said this before, and how i’m always sick of the City, i can’t leave it now. So many memories were made here, and i never want to leave, but i’m going to. LOL. I will be down to kick it with whoever hits me up, i don’t even live that far, so don’t be afraid to holla.
Just a FYI this is straight up from the heart and i aint playin….i hope you guys can hear me talk this whole blog….this shit is so real. I am really sad i won’t be coming back, but i know it’s time for me to make more moves in the real world, and start off another type of life. I will definitely keep you guys posted, just make sure you will always be down to catch up. To everybody that has supported me, and that kicked it with me, even if it was for 5 minutes in the cafe or some shit, you guys are bomb. Could never ask for any other group of homies from a university. USF was definitely a good choice. Sorry SFSU and Dominican…lol. It took me an extra semester, but i don’t give a f.
It’s okay to make mistakes right? LOL. We live and we learn, and we move on ahead. We make a lot of mistakes, and we know never to make them again. Thanks USF for the good times.
On my mindset again with this dance shit. Coming to reality again. I see all my homies drankin, smoking, having hella fun. Im doin the same, except at practice with my AOV fam hungry for VIBE at the end of January. So excited for this comp. Doesnt stop until we leave that stage. Hungry. Hella hungry. Focusing on this set for now. Let’s go.
San Francisco is such a beautiful city, i feel that no one really sees it until they actually take the time to give it a chance. People see it for what it is right when you exit the Bart Station, but come on, give it a chance.
I’ve lived out here for the past 4 years, and i’m finally moving out. Really sad. I’m gonna miss the freedom of it all. Being able to have the homies over to kick it after class, or at night to do HW or get fucked up lol. Now i’m moving back with my Mom. It’s gonna be kinda sad since my bro and sis are still in school, so ill be home with my Mom and Grandparents. It might be a good change, but at the same time i will miss the convenience of school being around the corner, food being accessible by walking distance, random kick its with friends, FREE GYM ACCESS, ahhhh hella shit. But i will be looking forward to spending more time with my Grandparents and my Mom, kicking it with my cousins more again, dancing a lot more, and HOME COOKED MEALS! Ahhhhhhh.
I guess it’s just my time to leave the city and embark on a whole other chapter in my life. Let’s see where this goes…wish me luck!